Whenever I ask moms to share their conflicts about the choices they make as women and mothers, an interesting phrase comes up.

Job description.

Now, I understand that “job description” can be just a clever way of saying that doing a certain task is important to you, or a way you feel you can serve your family, or even part of a mutually-agreed upon division of labor between you and your spouse.

I get it. Making dinner for my family is important to me, too, and I certainly take charge of the household management around these parts.

But something has always bothered me about the term “job description.” Because moms don’t have bosses. There is no HR department. So… who gets to write your job description?

I talk to women all the time who took on certain jobs and responsibilities when their children were very young, because it made sense to do so. But as their kids grow and moms start looking outward for new possibilities and opportunities, they often still feel stuck with the old job description – as though they are powerless to change it.

Even though their kids are getting older.

Even though their families are more capable of stepping up.

Even though their desires have been simmering on the back burner for so very long.

I’d like to challenge you to think of a “mom job description” as a fluid thing. Just because you’ve always been the one to: (get dinner on the table every night, do the early-morning kid shuffle, volunteer for field trips, clean out the kids’ closets) doesn’t mean you have to do that job forever.

Kids change. Family dynamics change. Priorities change. And it’s totally OK – necessary, even – for your “job description” to change along with them.

This week, I’d like you to take a closer look at your “job description” and see if it still suits your family and your life.

Ask yourself:

Which household tasks do you “always” or “often” do?

Can some of them be delegated to other family members? Can you hire help? Even if you’re an at-home mom, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re available all day to see to every aspect of running a home. Sometimes it just makes good sense to hire out certain tasks.

Have your other family members’ abilities or availability levels changed?

If you got in the habit of always cooking dinner because your husband worked late nights – but now he no longer does – you may be able to change things up. Or maybe your kids are now old enough to cook a weekly meal, switch the laundry loads, or do the before-dinner tidying. Remember: not training your kids to take care of the house – and not giving them responsibilities of their own – does them a disservice. Requiring them to pitch in teaches them important life lessons.

Who gets up with the kids in the morning? Who puts them to bed at night? Who drives carpool, chaperones field trips, and acts as room parent during holiday parties?

If the answer is “Me, me, me, me, and me,” does it have to be that way? Perhaps you’ve unnecessarily developed the habit of always taking over in this area. Maybe your spouse would be happy to take over in a specific area – say, all of the dentist appointments, or all of the field trips. Maybe a local college student could take over the time-consuming task of chauffeuring your kids to activities so that you get a few free hours in the afternoon. Maybe you and your husband can swap off bedtimes or breakfast-times.

Are there things you’re doing because you think you “should” – but on second thought, you aren’t sure who decided you “should” in the first place?

For instance, I’m a big proponent of the sit-down family dinner (and yes, I take responsibility for it most of the time) but in our house, we also have a weekly Dad-Makes-Pizza-Night, a “fend-for-yourself-with-leftovers” night, and sometimes a “kids eat chicken nuggets while Mom and Dad go out to dinner” night. That gives me enough breaks to keep me happy on the nights I cook, and also gives me some evenings free to do my own thing.

Look at the things that take up the majority of your time and energy, and ask yourself if a) they are all things that really need to be done as often as you’re doing them, and b) if you, specifically, need to be doing it all.

Think of it this way: if you were working in an office job, you’d get occasional adjustments to your job description – along with raises and promotions. The difference is that at home, you’re the boss. So you need to take control of your own job description!

Chances are good that with a little thought and energy, you can eliminate some tasks, delegate some tasks, and then adjust your expectations enough to free up some time and energy for the things you really want to be doing along with the things that you have to be doing.

And that’s the recipe for a job description that makes everyone happy.

- Meagan

PS: Are you thinking to yourself, "Yeah...but sometimes it's just faster and easier just to do it myself."? Read this post before you let that line of thinking get in the way of making positive changes for yourself and your family!