While I was teaching in Europe these last two months I had a profound spiritual experience. As it was occurring two thoughts immediately came to my mind. The first was, “I’m not worthy,” and the second was, “I’m not ready.” The experience happened anyway, so much for “I’m not ready.” Even as this was transpiring I was witnessing how foolish I was to second guess spirit who sees and knows all, and the fact that I was doing so meant that I still had work to do. Simultaneously, I was aware that these doubts came not from soul but from my ego. That ole friend or should I say fiend.
So here I am a month later letting this experience root itself in my consciousness as I watch the work still needed doing on this personality vessel. On one hand, I feel I have entered another world, another place in consciousness, and in this place I can both rest in being while at the same time I am called to be utterly in integrity. I see the result immediately of any thought or action I take. No one is judging, only witnessing, and then with unrelenting compassion.
On one hand I feel I cannot write or say anything currently, and on the other hand I feel that it is necessary to share what I am able. I hope I am not confusing you. It is not confusing me, only that I am feeling into what would be most useful for you because surely no experience that any of us has is only for us but is universal. So here goes, some ideas on how we can uncage our heart and why it is essential to do so.
In our western world I see a spiritual battle taking place between two contradictory things. The first is the soul hunger and desire for inner peace and joy that so many individuals have. The second is their reluctance to let go of their attachments to external pleasures and fast fixes. “Not me,” you might say. “I have given up coffee and alcohol, watch my diet, am kind to others and meditate daily for 20 minutes.” Yes, this is a start; however, this only will take us so far. There comes a time when more is demanded by spirit. Then, we must examine our Achilles heel, our shadow, the subtle attachments we have.
Perhaps, you say, “I am too busy right now. I have to renovate my house, get a new job, or look after my family." Yes, there is a time for this; however, going down this path leads to strengthening the ego and not the soul. Why do you think that most gurus are renunciates? Because it is not easy to live in this world of external temptations and to stay committed to spirit and to renounce our attachments. Doing so is the most difficult path and yet the one that most westerners must walk, to be as Jesus said, “in the world but not of it.” So how can we function in the world and still grow spiritually?
We need to be absolutely ruthless in confronting our attachments and to look in our dark places, for these may not be obvious. For example, are we addicted to spiritual marvels? Do others not meet our high standards? Do we put our family and friends ahead of our commitment to spirit? Do we apply the teachings we’ve read in spiritual books or what spiritual teachers say, or do we dismiss commitment to change by saying, “Oh I know that!”
We might even have an addiction to spiritual experiences. We can see this when we run from one spiritual course to another, one teacher to another, one spiritual book to another looking for the answers… out there, as if either newness or quantity of experiences will lead to inner stillness.
Another great trap of the ego is when we have done a great deal of work on ourselves over years of commitment and we think we have graduated. No, no, no. It does not end if we are still attached to the things of the world, we have not graduated no matter how much work we have done, and another, more subtle level awaits us. Yes, of course, we need to take time to celebrate the results of our efforts and also balance the needs of the world; however, re-commitment is necessary on a daily basis. This happens through our courageous commitment to our deep transformation in a place where we have no secrets but readily strip off whatever we cling to.
Most important is that we need dedicated time to devote to spirit, time in retreat and in meditation to let the cares of our lives fall away. When we do this spirit enters to fill us with strength and renewed energy. It changes us in stillness. In our hearts is a three-fold flame of love, wisdom and divine will and when all three are equal they blend together into one flame of consciousness. Each of us is asked to commit to developing all three qualities until this process occurs. In doing this, the heart opens and energy, long caged by our ego and fear, is uncaged in service to the world. Therein, lies peace and stillness.
I wish you a renewing July on our beautiful Earth.
