How to be the best version of me?
I got a mail today and it went like this:
"On this day of your life, Erja, I believe God wants you to know...
...that the purpose of relationship may not be what you think.
If you are excited about forming a relationship based on
what it looks like you can get, rather than what you can give,
you have started off on the wrong foot entirely, and you
could be heading for a big disappointment.
The purpose of all relationships is to create a sacred context
within which you can express the fulness of who you are.
And who you are is an experience you have before
you enter relationship, not because you did."
Touché!
Here I was again, reminded so sweetly. Hope this mail I got saved me from my self-sabotage as I definitely have not been at my best in my current relationship.
I started thinking (again) that how deep can our wounds be. It will not stop bedazzling that. I have actively been healing myself for many years now, and boom, it takes one nanosecond and someone can activate those, I call them sore parts, and there you go in full swing again, crash boom bang, if you do not pay very close attention to what is triggering you and where that might be coming from. It requires a bit or sometimes a lot of self-analyzing to go to the roots of the issues, and that requires courage, too. But it is definitely worth it. It is also interesting to notice that as long there is any feature that irritates you in others, it is within you (called your shadows). You are triggered by something unfinished, unhealed in you. It is worth listening to those messages from your self.
I wish from the bottom of my heart that it was possible to form such close relationship(s) with people that these issues could be shared in conversations and it may be that it could be all there needs to be to let that old bad habit to go slowly out of one's life. Realizing the own pattern, receiving forgiveness if that led to hurting the other person and maybe just a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on, when you need it. In minimum it is listening and having a conversation with your self or soul I would say. Energy healings can also be used to address these kind of issues.
And what is it I have been talking and writing about many times recently; unconditional love. I hope that still exists in the world, and one can be loved, with all the faults and non-perfections. Real love is capable looking beyond those, and I think there actually cannot be any other kind. And real love starts with one's self. Being gentle first towards your self opens doors being able to be gentle towards others. Loving self leads to loving others.
Everything is just perfect in all imperfectness. Maybe once that can be accepted, I (and you) can be the best me and you there ever is. Non-attachement, non-judgement and just go with the flow. How easily said, requires a bit more consciousness to be done. <3. But can, for sure ! I love the idea of the sacred context and being able to express your self fully in a relationship. It is incredibly beautiful and comforting thought. And what if we finally do not have to toss away the relationship, but instead our limited behaviours and reflections of our own insecurities? How wonderful could that be? <3