“Yaya gajiya?”
“Ba gajiya.”
If you ever find yourself among the Hausa people in northern Nigeria or southern Niger, you will be asked this question as part of their greeting ritual, just after you each say hello to each other.
“How is your tiredness?” is the question.
And the only acceptable reply is, “No tiredness.”
The reality is that the Hausa have always lived a very difficult existence, and the politeness ritual is a form of bucking each other up. In South India, where I have spent substantial amounts of time over the past four decades, and where food security could be precarious, the equivalent question is, “Have you eaten?” And “yes” is the suitable and conventional response, even if one is starving to death. Food (when there is any) is soon to be brought out in any event.
So, how many of you have found yourself tired at some point in your family’s homeschooling journeys? I don’t really have to ask. Unless you are Superwoman or Superman (or totally delusional), I feel reasonably certain I already know the answer.
The thing to remember is tiredness and happiness are not opposites. I think I originally learned this lesson from my daughter Meera. We adopted her at ten months of age, and English was not her first language. But she seemed to come equipped with an “Energizer Bunny” of a motor. She’d get up in the morning, would never miss a beat, and then just keep ‘going, and going, and going…’ Until she’d lie down in our family bed, next to me, turn over, and say, “Daddy. Happy.” And then she’d be out.
I have an old friend who had a vision almost 25 years ago that she was to adopt children with special needs from around the world. At last count, she had 16 (including one ‘natural’ child – anyone have a better term?) from at least five countries. Luckily for her, many of them like to cook. The family is not wealthy, but cares for the kids virtually without any government assistance though with much ‘hands-on’ support from family and friends, and homeschooling most of them most of the time. Hubby keeps building extra rooms onto the basement.
I will occasionally see her. (As you can imagine, it’s quite a chore to get all the kids onto the family bus!) I remember meeting up with her once at a community event.
“Diane,” I said, noticing the bags under her eyes, “You look tired.”
“I am tired,” she responded, without even the slightest hint of change in her attention toward the kids she had with her.
“Don’t you ever sleep?” I asked.
“Oh, David,” she replied, again with her attention to the kids unwavering, “I’ve read my Bible cover to cover maybe four, five, or six times. Nowhere did I find a commandment that says, 'Thou shalt sleep.' There will be plenty of time for that later.”
And you thought you were tired?
This is not meant to belittle your very real feelings. Homeschooling can be tiring, sometimes even exhausting. But remember: this special time with your children isn’t going to last forever, so savor it for all that it is worth. And you will be surprised at how quickly they grow and change, and you along with them. When you think you are tired, remember my friend Diane.
If it helps, replace the word “tired” with “stretching.”
At the end of the Hausa greeting ritual, the first person will ask, “Yaya aiki?” “How is your work?”
There is only one proper response. “Mun gode.” “We are thankful.”
We are thankful, indeed.
(Excerpted from David H. Albert’s forthcoming book Dismantling the Inner School: Homeschooling and the Curriculum of Abundance. Hunt Press, Spring 2012)
For more information on David Albert, please go to SkylarkSings.com. Also, GHF supporting members receive a discount on David's books! Please go to the GHF membership page for details.
